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Should I really put spirits in the freezer?

A better question is: Why would you want to? Assuming you’re not going shot for shot with the Russians over the title to some Siberian oasis there aren't too many good reasons I can think of for you to want your booze ice-cold.

Most hard liquor is drunk mixed, and a well made cocktail (no matter how simple) is the liquid equivalent of a fine tuned recipe at your favourite resto. If the balance of ingredients and temperature go north or south, what should be an act of brilliance could become an epic fail. A straightforward shaken not stirred martini aside, too cold hooch will only disrupt the subtleties that make a classic cocktail, well, classic.

Sure, any spirit worth its 40 per cent alcohol by volume can stand the strain of the icebox without fear of freezing. That said, while gin and rum gain nothing whatsoever from time in the deep freeze; whisky (no matter how you spell it) can earn a hazy hue when exposed to even the main body of a refrigerator. (Though still fine to drink, they won’t look as pretty in the glass.)

Is there an appropriate wine to serve when you’re breaking up with your girlfriend?

Well, you can’t say that my readers aren’t classy. Since you’re going to wind up wearing most of it, I’d pick a white wine. They cause less of a stain and if you’re at a restaurant (and isn’t that were most of these dastardly deeds take place?) you’ll look respectable enough to stick around and finish your (and her) entrée after she’s made a beeline for the exit once you’ve lowered the boom.

The last thing she needs is a glass of juice that’s too acidic or oaky. All things considered, I’d go with something slightly sweet like a bottle filled with Riesling. Plus, a white with a bit of sugary fruit will make for a better appetizer wine since I’m betting you’re the kind of guy who’s going to blurt out your intentions well before the mains arrive. If you want to go drier pick an exotic, perfumey white such as a Viognier or Chenin Blanc.

Why are red wines red?

I love this kind of question. On the surface it seems completely idiotic to ask it, but guess what, I hear it all the time because a lot of people just aren’t sure. Why are red wines red? And better yet, why are white wines white? And, since we're tossing around queries that appear obvious, why am I so amazing? It would take this whole issue to answer that last one, but the mystery of the first two is easy to explain.

Red wines don't get their pigment from the pulp of the grape (at least not much) or by blending different coloured wines together; it comes from ... wait for it ... the skins of the grapes. Though the amount of time the skins stay in contact with the juice can vary depending on the winemaker and style of vino being made; suffice it to say that the longer a wine’s juice is in contact with the skins, the deeper and richer its hue becomes. The darker the skins, the heavier the colour extraction.

How do reviewers (like those at Tidings) determine the scores they give the wines they taste?

Wine scores are a lot like Kim Kardashian: they both have great figures, but in the end you've got to wonder if that's all there is to them. Truth be told (and I'm all about the truth), I give everything that I taste a score of some kind. How do I do it? I use my big brain that's soaked in the years of juice that has passed over my palate.

When you drink for a living you have a habit of tasting a lot of different things (over 2000 for me last year). You take all of those memories of the good, the bad and the tasty and roll them into an overall barometer for stylistic correctness. What that means is that after a while you get to know what's right about a wine and how a number can represent a wine's place on the way to 100.

What do you think is the most underrated wine producing country?

I’d be happy to rattle off a laundry list of countries that you all should be paying much more attention to, but according to my palate the most underrated country in the ever-congested world of wine is … wait for it … Portugal.

Clinging to the side of Spain like Charlie Sheen to an exotic dancer, Portugal gets the short end of the Iberian Peninsula thanks to the popularity of its next-door neighbour’s liquid output. Granted, it also suffers from its own success just a tad. Being so famous for its rich, sweet Port wines the average consumer has trouble seeing past the fortification profile — thinking every bottle of Portuguese vino is boozy and heavy-handed with limited versatility when it comes to food pairing and all season drinking.

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